Categories
Retail Urban Decay

WTF is Wrong with the People That Line Up at Costco?

According to their website, you can shop at Costco anytime between the hours of 10AM and 8:30PM on weekdays, and nearly as long on weekends. If you paid for the membership, and they’re open, you can shop there. No one is going to stop you. The creators of the fabulous Kirkland Signature Brand of consumer goods will welcome you, in fact.

So why do these dense motherfuckers all start queuing up at 9AM on a goddamn weekday?

I mean, I get it. Thanksgiving is two days away as I write this and these people probably waited until the last minute to do their stupid last minute Thanksgiving Day shopping, but still, DO THEY NOT HAVE JOBS?

These creeps are out of control. They’re bashing carts into one another, scrambling to get through the door and show their Membership Card to the clerk FIRST – as though you get some kind of prize for being the first asshole into the store? When there’s this many assholes shopping at Costco, ain’t no one getting in and out quickly.

Just look at these sorry fuckers. Like the End Times are near and they’ll parish if they don’t get a 5 gallon tub of Kirkland Premium Peanut Butter Pretzel snacks RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Personally, my favorite things to do at Costco are:

a) get there early

b) proceed to take my sweet ass time walking down each and every aisle because I ain’t got nowhere else I need to be

Losers. It’s not even Black Friday yet.

Categories
Urban Decay

Mississippi Ave Woes

Ok, so it’s not actually on Mississippi Avenue, but it’s close enough. This will be a shooting gallery soon, if it isn’t one already.

Categories
Urban Decay

Out With the Old and in With the Hole in the Ground?

I’m not sure what this apartment complex did to warrant a complete leveling but nonetheless, it’s getting one anyway. What I find so amusing about this is that Portland’s tax-paying renter population has actually declined over the past couple of years. Unless this is eventually going to be some kind of low-income housing, I’m not sure who the intended residents will be.

Categories
Urban Decay

La Carreta: Mexican Restaurant Turned SE Portland Homeless Huffing Station

One of the few Portland restaurants popular enough to enjoy its very own Wikipedia page, La Carreta on Southeast McLoughlin Boulevard in Portland closed at some point during the pandemic. Whether or not you liked La Carreta is up to you; what’s more interesting is how quickly it went from open for business to closed to scene from an as yet unannounced Mad Max film.

La Carreta in 2021 – from their Wikipedia page
La Carreta today – photo by yours truly
The patio really IS now open, just not in the way you’re thinking.
Around back there is plenty of parking for your stolen vehicle, van, or tent, along with hundreds of pre-huffed cans of everything from paint to whipping cream. But shake them anyway, you never know when you might get lucky.